Perhaps you can ring (or pop-in if close) to the sonographer's and say you've changed your mind and would really like to know. You can still let it be a suprise for DH at the birth, but if he really feels strongly about it - I can understand why it would be hurtful for people other than you to know about the sex of his baby before him if that's a bit deal to him, would you consider keeping it from your mum and BF and just satisfying your own curiosity.
My DH doesn't come to the majority of my antenatal appointments due to work etc - so the ladies' suggestion of talking to the midwives about your pre-determined pain relief options is a good idea - they can make a special note so that when you come into the hospital whoever delivers will know. The MW at your last birth probably assumed you had strong ideas about not having one prior and had asked DH to stop you IYKWIM - so if they know this isn't the case, you should be able to avoid this again.
Hope whatever you decide you feel better about it all soon. All the best.
I am overwhelmed at all the support ladies, thank you so much! I really do appreciate it as well as the advice.
I have calmed down a lot this morning, but DH and I still have a lot to talk about. I will definately be telling the hossy when I book in that I'd like the option of an Epi IF I ask... Of course I'd prefer not to, but I'd only ask for it if I was desperate.
I am lucky enough that both my GP and OB do a little scan at each check up so it's not as if the window is closed, but I just had my heart set on finding out at this scan. Once again DH and I will be doing a lot of talking about it. Someone made a good point that her and DH wanted to find out together so decided to find out at the birth, that certainly got me thinking!
MiniMax - You crack me up dear, I love the V home job comment!!!
One more thing to add which is really important...
DH is generally a very supportive person who has helped me through a lot over the years, I can usually rely on him with anything and everything, it just (as some of you have said) he can be VERY stubborn and when he gets his mind set there is really no changing it.... He definately gets that from his mother! He does his very best to talk everyone around to go along with him, but sometimes that doesn't work and I get my nose out of joint.
He was really upset with all of my crying yesterday after the scan, which I wasn't doing to try and get him to change his mind, it was just raw emotion, but it didn't even get him thinking.
Please don't think he's a horribe person, cuz he really is a sweet heart. We live and work together so being together 24/7 can build up feels over time then they all start over flowing at times like these.
Oh Pish just came across this . You had been looking forward to you scan so much and were so excited, I'm so sorry that DH ruined that experience for you.
If you really do want to find out, can you sneak a look next time your at the OB?
I agree with the other posters, especially about the epi - it's your body, your the one that has to get the baby out. I would be having a quiet word with your Ob & widwives and let them know you do want the option of choice if YOU decide you do want an epi or any other form of pain relief you want at the time.
As my Ex-SIL once described childbirth.....it's like sh*tting a watermelon, I'd ask DH if he would like to do that without painkillers!!!
Back again as I just read your latest post....
I'm sure you two will sort it all out soon but still big I'm sure there isn't anyone who's posted here who hasn't wanted to grab their DH, DF, DP, DB by the shoulders and shake some sense into them at some stage Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and the excitement of meeting your new bub, whether you decide to find out or wait.
Last edited by ~Phoenix~; December 8th, 2009 at 07:20 AM.
oh sweet, i am in your boat.
My DH is a lovely man, but he can be so pig headed and stubborn. it doesnt help that i am stubborn also lol.
Dh sometimes makes choices and decisions without taking my feelings into consideration which is very frustrating and hurtful, this is something we are working on, well i am at least
Dh was all "no drugs" as well but i made itclear that i wasnt keen n drugs but if i needed theem i would have them, he didnt mind gas but nothing else.Turns out he wasnt there for the birth anyway and i ony used gas,
as far as the sex thing, this time we both wanted to find out which was good, like you our next baby will most likely be the last baby we have so id like to keep it a surprise just so i know what its like, but he's mde it very clear that we are finding out. i have plenty of time to work on him but i doubt ill change his mind.
Your hubby does sound supportive, i know as he sounds just like mine lol.
Good luck sweet.
i hope it all works out without too many tears xxx
You don't have to answer this, but do you know the reasons why DH doesn't want you to have pain relief during labour? Maybe this is something that can be addressed by the Drs to give him the facts rather than the hype that he may have been told. The science may convince him that there are circumstances when it is recommended. Still, it should be your choice.
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.... which i'm sure you will xxx
. You had been looking forward to you scan so much and were so excited, I'm so sorry that DH ruined that experience for you.
Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and the excitement of meeting your new bub, whether you decide to find out or wait.
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