Single and Pregnant: 12 Tips For Coping With Pregnancy

Single and Pregnant: 12 Tips For Coping With Pregnancy

There are lots of reasons why women become single parents. Whether you chose to walk the path of parenthood alone, or have unexpectedly ended up in this situation, you may feel worried about how you will face pregnancy, birth and motherhood without the support of a partner. At other times you may feel confident, empowered, and ready to take on the world as a single parent. Mixed emotions are normal during pregnancy, and you will experience good days and bad.

Pregnancy is a daunting time, but single pregnancy can be that little bit harder to navigate as you deal with worries and major decisions alone. The following tips may help you to survive pregnancy as a single woman:

Single and Pregnant Tip #1: Find Some Support

The one thing that single mothers lack, is the support of a partner. Thats it. It may not sound huge, but it can make pregnancy extra tough for single women. In place of a partner, you will need a support network to help you throughout pregnancy and motherhood. This support network could consist of friends, family and strangers online. You will need people you can turn to for reassurance and sympathy after a tough day, and people to share your hopes and dreams with. Your network should be your own personal dream team – experts in providing emotional and physical support to you as and when necessary.

Single and Pregnant Tip #2: Accept Help

You really don’t need to do this all on your own. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. All you need, is for you and your baby to be happy and healthy, and that means you might need to accept help every now and then. If you are suffering with morning sickness, accept your mother’s offer of doing your laundry. If your back aches in your third trimester, accept all offers of hoovering and other high intensity household duties. There is no such thing as ‘SuperMum’. You need to take care of yourself first, in order to take care of your baby. The cleaning can wait.

Single and Pregnant Tip #3: Talk To The Experts

If you are worried about how you will cope as a single mother, speak to some experts. Who are the experts in single parenting? Why, single parents, of course. Speak to friends and family members who have experienced single pregnancy, and looking after a newborn as a single mother. Ask for survival tips and life hacks that might help you through those months. The best way to prepare yourself for single motherhood, is to set realistic expectations, so ask people to tell you the truth about what it entails. You’ll probably discover there are an overwhelming number of positives to raising a child by yourself.

Single and Pregnant Tip #4: Find Some Single Mum Friends

Everybody wants to feel accepted, and to have people understand what they are going through. Make sure you have at least a couple of single mum friends who can relate to your day-to-day life, and share the highs and lows of single parenting with you. The best way to meet other single mums-to-be is to get out there and start socialising. Sign up for antenatal yoga, antenatal aqua aerobics, antenatal lessons, and head along to your local bumps and babies groups, sling meets and breastfeeding groups. You’ll meet lots of new people, and may even find a couple of single mum friends who will be able to navigate through single parenthood alongside you. Alternately there are plenty of social media groups for single parents. You might like to start in BellyBelly’s separation, divorce and single parenting forum.

Single and Pregnant Tip #5: Ask For Flexibility

If you are suffering from fatigue, sickness, aches and the many other potential pregnancy symptoms out there, you may find yourself struggling to keep up with your work. Whether you are taking more sick days, going in late after a restless night, or struggling to keep your head out of the toilet all day, your work may be suffering. Ask your employer for flexibility. Explain that you are finding things tough, and suggest ways that your employer could help you to maintain your usual workload. For example, could you work from home some days to cut down your commute? Could you work flexible hours to allow you to start late or finish early when you are in need of a rest? Don’t be afraid to ask your employer for flexibility, most employers are more than happy to make changes to help employees in need.

Single and Pregnant Tip #6: Get Financial Help

Single parents are entitled to financial help in Australia. You may be eligible for the single parenting payment. You may also be eligible to receive Child Support from the father of the baby. Whether you feel you need the money or not, it is always worth finding out exactly what you could claim for, and how much this would amount to. Ask your healthcare provider for advice about your financial options and where to find out more about the financial support available to you.

Single and Pregnant Tip #7: Get Legal Help

If there is a father in the picture, you may want to get legal help to ensure your rights are protected. If he wants to be involved, you may find it useful to have a professional help you map out how visitations and finances will work once the baby arrives. If you have an uncomplicated relationship, you may be able to sort this out without the help of lawyers, but if not, it’s always worth turning to the experts for advice. If money is an issue, some organisations offer free legal advice, for example Legal Aid in Victoria (Australia).

Single and Pregnant Tip #8: Choose A Birth Partner

A birth partner can offer invaluable support to you during labour. A birth partner doesn’t have to be a partner, it could be a friend or family member. Some women choose to ask their mum, sister or best friend to accompany them throughout the delivery. It may seem like a big ask, but most people are honoured to be invited to be part of such a wonderful experience. Once you’ve decided who you would like to be your birth partner, set out some ground rules. They will need to be available at all times in case you go into labour, and have a clear idea of what you’d like them to do in the delivery room. BellyBelly has a fantastic article full of birth support tips for untrained birth people. You might like to share the following articles with your birth support person:

Single and Pregnant Tip #9: Hire A Doula

Doulas are trained birth professionals who offer support to women during pregnancy, labour and childbirth. Acting as a professional birth partner, your doula will be able to guide you throughout labour and support you through each contraction. Doulas can help you focus on your breathing, massage your back, fetch you water – they’re basically the birth partner of your dreams. You can choose to hire a doula to act as your birth partner, or to work alongside your chosen birth partner during the birth. If money is an issue, you could hire a recently qualified doula who may be more willing to negotiate on rates. Student doulas often work for a significantly reduced rate or for free, in return for the experience of attending your birth. Its always polite to offer to cover a student’s out of pocket costs, for example petrol and parking fees. Find out more about doulas here.

Single and Pregnant Tip #10: Focus On The Positives

While it’s true that some aspects of pregnancy will be more difficult alone, there are some positives to facing parenthood by yourself. For starters, you won’t need to compromise on names. Nobody is going to veto the baby names you love, or force names you hate into the equation. You’ll also get to choose how to raise your child – and won’t need to compromise on parenting styles. Settle in and enjoy bonding with your bump, and soon-to-be baby.

Single and Pregnant Tip #11: Celebrate Your Pregnancy and Baby Whenever You Can

There are so many ways you can celebrate being pregnant, which may help to lift your spirits. Some ideas include:

  • Pregnant belly painting
  • Having a baby shower
  • Having a blessingway (highly recommended, especially if you’re single)
  • Getting a belly cast to remember your bump forever (you can buy a DIY kit or have someone do it for you)
  • Getting some professional pregnancy photography
  • Getting away from it all. Take a holiday somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, locally or afar. Even when money is tight, you can get free accommodation by housesitting, anywhere in the world, for free. Check out the TrustedHousesitters website. If you need to fly, make sure you get the okay from your midwife or doctor, especially if you plan on taking a break late in the third trimester.

Single and Pregnant Tip #12: Believe In Yourself

All pregnant women feel scared at some point. Your life is about to change, you are about to become a mother – of course that’s scary. There’s nothing wrong with feeling worried about motherhood. It is, however, important to stay positive. You will be an amazing mother, and you will be a great role model in independence for your child. Having a partner doesn’t make you a better parent, and you’ll do an amazing job all by yourself. Well, with the help of your friends and family, who will be there to support you at every turn.

It’s not going to be easy, but, its definitely going to be worth it.

the BellyBelly Birth & Early Parenting Immersion
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  1. Im just scared about how uncertain the future will be, am i going 2 stil continue my education, who can help mi wt my school fees and al that. Is being pregnant worth it? (Sigh)…1

    1. Being pregnant is the beat thing that ever happened to me! It is well worth it and the beat gift you could ever give yourself. When i had my first child, i was headed in the wrong direction. It was my first who turned my life around. I graduated and later on went back to school studying while he did his homework. So overall, yes it is worth it!

    2. Single mom of 2 almost 3 and I can tell you that you will finish school if you want to.. You will do everything you set out to do.. It is worth it I was 16 with my first graduated with 2 children in high school and have started college.. You can do it.. It’s a struggle but man those moments are so worth it.

  2. Im a single parent and i wont lie, its sometimes hard. But i have had no choice but to do it myself. As horrid as this sounds your just have to get on with it and do what you havd to do. My daughter is 7 next week and she is bright, healthy, has lots of friends and is doing amazing at school. She is that way mostly because of me. Im so proud of her. Heres the problem, im in the same situation again. I was seeing someone and after a drunken night we had unprotected sex. Im pregnant again and we have split up. We have been friends my whole life but hes turned into a t**t and i cant deal with him. It looks like i’ll be doing it all again myself..

    1. Hey I’m literally in the same situation as you. I have a 7 year old daughter and I had a drunken night that changed everything. I see this post was made a few months ago, so our due dates won’t line up.. but I wanted you to know I completely understand what you’re going through. Feel free to email me if you happen to see this post (or anyone who is in a similar situation and would like to connect)

  3. Im 29 and i just recently found out im 6 weeks pregnant with my first child. The guy i was seeing begged me to have an abortion but i just cant do it. He is really angry that im keeping it and is worried about his ex who he has a kid with. I dont really have any friends as i went down a bad path and when i got my life together, wiped everyone. I had to move back home with mum and even though most days im excited, im still so scared about the future. Im worried i will never find love, im worried ill be poor, I’m worried ill be living with my mum for the rest of my life, im worried about the struggles of bringing up a baby alone. This baby is something that i want, theres no doubt about that but im just so so scared not having much support. I know everything will be fine eventually but its hard to stay positive when you feel alone. Could anyone recommend any support groups for single mums in Melbourne? Thanks heaps xx

    1. Wow, we’re just about a month apart & your story sounds identical, down to the father having another child that he’s worried about telling. He hasn’t told anyone & we’re not 23+ weeks. I haven’t heard from him in over a month. Hopefully you’re feeling in a better place…

    2. I’m 28 and just found out I’m pregnant this week. The father I knew only for a short time, and he is now deployed in another country. He himself has a 7 month yr old and 7 yr old and doesn’t want anymore.. I feel stuck, everyone wants me to get rid of it but I just can’t. I live out of state and all my family is more than 13 hours away. This is hard but I know it’s possible!

      1. How are you doing now? I found out I was prego on Feb 22nd, we also split up. This is my 2nd baby I’m starting over though cause my boy is already 16. I’m scared!

        1. Hi I’m in the same boat as you my son is 15 doing it all again can’t stop worrying stressing the dad just comes in and out of my life he has three other children and told me he doesn’t want nothing to do with the baby I’m so alone no sscarrd

    3. Wow I’m 4 weeks I refuse to tell the father being as though he literally forced me to go to hospital when we had a pregnancy scare before never asked did I want the baby assumed i was having an abortion. I’m afraid he will hurt me and I’m falling back from him for my safety

  4. Im 18 weeks and single. The father of my child is muslim and im not. I did not accept the support he’s offering because i dont want him to be part of our lives anymore coz i still have feelings for him but we cant be together because of the diff “religion” we had. His marriage was already fixed. So, its really hard but ill get through it eventualy. Just waiting for that time.

    1. Hi im also in the same situation the guy i was having sex with is Indian and hindu his marriage has already been fixed the moment i found out i was pregnant i didn’t tell him anything because i knew things will never work out between us and i wanted to have this baby on my own but when i tried to tell him he freaked out telling me to have abortion because he didn’t want a bad name ive decided that his no good in my life so i will cut contact from him and have the baby on my own and will never tell him that his the father of my child im praying to god everyday and i have faith that things will be alright i know god will find a way for me.

  5. I’m 29 single and pregnant with my second child. My 1st childs father walked away so it’s only ever been us. My 2 nd baby’s dad wants to be involved which is great for the baby but the thought of sharing responsibility and only spending every other weekend with my child I hate! Is this normal?

  6. Those comments aren’t exactly answers to her article lol 😉
    I’m 14 weeks now ,28 and farther is 35/36 total douchebag ! In not gonna lie he is my ex and we shouldn’t have had sex after almost a year of being apart … He wanted the baby and told me that straight up but I thought I can’t have kids neither does he ! God had other plans n I think it’s a blessing ! When I saw that lil thing on the screen my heart just melted but I am terrified how it will be ! I refused to be with tha daddy bc he is not trustworthy and unfortunately likes to play hard party wise so yeah I’m alone and on top I’ve lost my job due to ridiculous issues … Well I’m worried especially that I don’t have much support from family site but I pray every day and I know God will not leave me n my baby alone ! I trust him completely and I can’t wait to see my baby ! If I meant to be with tha daddy he will also work on that for us ;! Ladies with hesitations : heads up ! God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers ! Never give up and always believe you can do it ! After all your baby don’t have anyone else to count on ! We can do it ! ❤️

    1. Thank u I really needed to read this. I’m 5 weeks pregnant and the father of my baby just told me he doesn’t want to be with me. We were together for a year we had one bad month (out of a great year) and before he found out I was pregnant he was willing to work on it after I told him I was pregnant everything changed and now he doesn’t seem to care much about me. This is a really painful time for me but I just have to keep faith and know that something better will happen

      1. I have the same situation as you but I am 11 weeks, booked a termination but Couldn’t go through with it at the request of my ex.. Who left me after he found out I was pregnant and now says he wish he had never met me, that I ruined his life etc. I was madly in love with him and am distraught.
        I’m lucky I have a good support network great family and friends my advice to you.. stick with people who care and love about you.

        Good luck

      2. sort of the same story here. i have a two year old and the father was great for the first pregnancy but now i am 5 months prego with second baby and he asked me and our child to move out because he needs to “Figure things out” he’s already telling everyone at work he is separated and partying so i kind of figure he doesn’t want to work things out with me. he says he’s been unhappy for a long time and he just doesn’t love me the way he did before anymore.
        i don’t know how he wants to see his kids because we live in different states since he told me to leave. he currently is not paying any child support and called off our engagement. i still want to make it work because i know what a great person/dad/man he can be but for some reason all he wants to do is focus on himself. he’s barely texted twice asking how his daughter is but we have only been gone for a week but still.
        call me crazy and i’ve probably watched too many romantic comedies but i was hoping if i actually left he would realize he was making a mistake and want us back but he hasn’t made any attempts of trying to get help or fix our relationship.
        the hardest part for me right now is i can’t stop thinking about him. we were together for three years and everything moved really fast but we were so in love i don’t know what’s going on with him because i was still very much in love with him even when i left. everything about this second pregnancy is different and i don’t know if i can handle it.

        1. I’m sorry, I know how you feel. I’m about ready to have my baby in a month and her dad moved out. He was in love with me until I got pregnant and then drank like a fish and became miserable. I’m scared too, he won’t talk to me and doesn’t want anything to do with her.

  7. I’m 14 weeks pregnant and pregnant with my first child. I’ve been in an on and off relationship for 3 years now with the father of my unborn child. His mother was so excited and supportive until my baby daddy ruined everything. One day we had a huge fight and his mother walked in. My family and his mother knows that he’s very abusive. If his mother didn’t walk in, my baby and i could’ve been dead. He wanted to smash me with an axe…I was terrified. I begged him not to do it but he was ready to. When his mother asked what was going on, he changed the whole story and said I made a confession that the child is not his. I couldn’t believe It! He denied being the father. So his mother took his side and i was thrown out like a dog. It’s hard but I’ll get through it. I have a very supportive family and i don’t need them. God loves me and my bubbles so yes they aren’t as important as I thought they were.

  8. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m single parent of a six year old boy already but now expecting a baby girl. The fathers are different. The father of the child I’m carrying decided he didn’t want to be with me. These last 8 mths I’ve did nothing but cry n lose weight smh. I’m finding it very hard to be alone and pregnant.

    1. I can relate to are not alone. About a week ago I found out I was pregnant..I’m not even sure how far along I am, but 1st trimester. I had been in a long term relationship with my partner and we were having some issues so he moved out, but we decided to keep trying. Things have been rough between us and then i found out that i was pregnant. I take birth control on point every day and cant understand how this happened?? Anyway, i asked my partner to come over so we could talk. I have known this man for 2 years and I thought as he has 2 children already, that we may not stay together, but that he would want to be involved. When i told him, he was quiet for about a minute. I asked if he had anything to say….he suddenly said ‘see ya’ walked out and then by text later told me that he ‘would not’ be with me and to ‘get rid of the pregnancy.’ I am so hurt and in shock. I do not have family support and all of my friends have moved overseas. I have cried for 48hours straight. I am so scared.

  9. I’m 28 and just found out I’m pregnant with my first child. I was in a short relationship (6 months) with the father. He’s 42 and has 2 children from previous relationships. He left me when he found out after I refused to have an abortion and he’s flatly refused to want anything to do with the baby. I’m feeling quite let down at the moment. He’s a good father to his other 2 sons but isn’t going to be there for this one. The pregnancy wasn’t planned and I was on the pill so understand it was a shock to him too. I guess I’m just worried about how I will do this on my own and how my child might be affected not having a father in their life.

    1. Reading all these comments make me so sad and I feel for everyone on here. I’m in a situation where me and the father still deal with each other and it is our second child together but he still won’t make any real commitment to me like moving in together. He’s the one that keeps the relationship going but won’t commit. Im alone most of the time and its not fair to me because we made this child together. I personally feel these men should be embarrassed to just walk out on women carrying their child. They’re coward’s. See these men for what they are and always remember the problem lies within them not you. We can’tblame ourselves for these small minded men.I know it’s hard but don’t be afraid. This situation of you being pregnant and alone is only temporary but your child is forever. Things in life don’t always happen the way we planned it but it doesn’t that its not right or we can’t be happy. I’m planning on moving out of state without my child’s father after the birth of our child. After so many years I see no future for us. I declare myself a strong single mommy and I’m proud of it. I know it hurts but like I said trust me its a temporary feeling. Also try changing your perspective about the situation. Accept the situation for what is and move forward from here on. Its a shame that these men can make us feel negatively about such an amazing beautiful thing. Some people can’t ever experience the miracle of pregnancy and motherhood thus we should try and enjoy and appreciate everyone second of it. Congratulations beautiful expectant mothers

  10. I’m only 20 yrs old and I’m pregnant wit my third
    child I’ve always been a single mom wit my first the father decided to believe everyone else that she wasn’t his child I dealt with her pregnancy a lot better cuz I had a lot of friends and family surrounding me wit my second was a Lol harder I was in an abusive relationship living wit him no couldn’t just leave had to come up wit a plan he ended up hitting me really bad so I left the next day lost most of me n my kids belongings that was hard on me but I did it have a healthy baby boy so I stayed away from relationships for a good year then while working I met deadbeat number 3 we where happy it seemed like he was then one I was gonna marry then I found out I was pregnant he was happy I thought then we started having issues no he just wrote me out of his life knowing I’m currently pregnant wit his child he knows everything I been threw n I really thought I could trust him no now look at me 12 weeks pregnant alone AGAIN wit another life I gotta raise by myself I’ve lost all hope in guys in general it’s been like this for me my whole life I always here I’m chooiseing the wrong ones but I don’t just give it up to whoever I waited wit him til I thought I knew who he was and I’m so ashamed of myself barley anyone knows about this pregnancy I cry all the time cuz I’m so hurt he has another child who he is there for n there not together so I just dont understand what I did so bad I am the only one with my life falling apart anyone else will read this and think I’m dramatic or something but to actually go threw this is different is anyone else in the world going threw this and how did u get threw it please no bashing or neg comments I’m already low as it is plz don’t kick me while I’m down

    1. Hi your story sounds similar to mine husband no.1 was a deadbeat who wanted to stay home so I divorced him and was stuck with kid.Husband 2 knocked me up and then insisted I have an abortion coz he wasn’t ready to be a dad I refused so we got divorced.I decided no serious relationships for next 10 years. Earlier this year I met man of my dreams or so I thought he got me pregnant in June we married in July he left his job without telling me then two months ago he disappeared.I’m 37yrs old and 27 weeks along and the mother two boys.I have never been happier in my life my boys fret over me.Keep your head up you can do it.Just pray to God for guidance and strength after all you are a woman. God Speed

  11. I wanted to share my story because when I was pregnant I visited forums like this and I read a lot about how hard it was being a single mum alone which terrified me! My ex had wanted me to have an abortion but I couldn’t go through with it and we broke up and I haven’t heard from him since. I was living overseas and had to return home to my parents. No job, no home for myself and feeling the shame of getting myself into such a mess. The pregnancy was the toughest thing I went through. My mum and family stuck by me and were very supportive but I was scared, heart broken and in denial that I would end up a single mum. I read many books on parenting and also books on spirituality which enabled me to get some perspective on the whole situation. I went to centerlink to get financial help and also started studying just after I had her to keep me motivated. When she was about 10 months old I started looking for work from home jobs, approaching companies and offering my services. I went to mothers group even though I was the only single mum and found it daunting at first but I eventually realised I had this parenting thing in the bag… while other mothers struggled I thrived. I had to thrive… I was her only parent. I had to be the one that was emotionally balanced, stable and strong. My beautiful baby is now 2, she sleeps well, listens to me and I love hanging out with her. I still live with family but in my own ‘bungalow’. I work from home most days and my mum has her 1 day while I work on the road. I’m still on some benefits which helps. I have enough money to get by, enough support to take a break and since I work from home and I’m single, the last winter we spent in Asia. Now I have a ‘buddy’.. we go out for coffee, go shopping, go to the park, travel and visit my friends. Yes I get tired and exhausted at times but most often I’m just so happy to have this little sunshine in my life. There is nothing like the unconditional love from your child and when she wraps her arms around your neck it feels like I’m cuddling a little angel, a little gift sent especially to me. So if I could offer one bit of advice to you if your pregnant and alone is… believe in yourself.. you’ve got this… your a survivor, your strong and you can and will do it x

  12. I’ve always said at 30 married or not,I should have a child and now am 30. Am scared but I now need a child but am not sure am prepared emotionally

  13. Right before Christmas I broke up with my boyfriend of one year. He already has kids from a previous marriage and definitely did not want a child. We separated for other reasons and now I found I am pregnant and will be a single parent! I’m in my 40s and was on the pill so I’m in complete shock! I have a good family and know they will be supportive but how will I juggle work and a baby? I have a decent job but it doesn’t pay much and I already struggle to make ends meet. The father and I haven’t spoken for over a month. I know he would be angry and afraid I will try to get child support eventually… I don’t want to tell him. I have time to figure all this out but it is very scary. My world is turning upside down! At the same time… It’s a miracle that I’m truly happy about.

  14. So glad to know that I’m not alone n that anything is possible if you put your mind to iţ. I’m on last trimester can deliver at any time, the man I was involved went awol I don’t even know his parent’s house or even where he’s at. He’s keeping our baby as a secret, he refuses to let his family know, at times I feel like he hates me for not aborting the baby. I still love him so bad n still hoping that one day he’ll come back. It’s quite obvious that I’ll be all alone, what really breaks my heart is that I’m still an apprentice so scared about my current financial state… Lately I’ve been so depressed n I know its not good for the baby but I can’t help it, I’m so scared to my bones, my baby is breech n I might be booked for a csection of which that makes even more scared.

  15. Well my story is familiar, as it appears according to this forum. Hopefully I can be an inspiration to someone to not give up.
    I was with the father of my unborn son, off and on for 6-7 years unofficially. I never looked at him as boyfriend material. To be quite honest we were just friends with benefits. One day I get pissy drunk, I invite him over, we have intercourse, and a month later I find out I am pregnant. I thought I could not get pregnant again.
    Moving forward, I immediately tell him, and he had a non chalant attitude about it. He did not initially say “get rid of it” like the average a–hole. 3 months go by, I don’t hear anything from him. He waits 3 months to express the fact that he wants me to get rid of the baby. I reached out to him several times prior to 3 months. I even asked “do you want me to abort this baby?” I received no direct answer. Now moving forward, I kept the baby for obvious reasons, I’m not killing a fetus.
    He won’t speak to me. He stated “he will never change his mind about wanting the baby.” Those words literally pierced my heart.
    But the bigger picture is- I always wanted a little boy. At 12 weeks the dr. was able to tell me ‘it’s a boy.’ I was ecstatic, but sad. I was thankful, but asked how and why under these circumstances.
    The father works at my job. All my friends and co-workers wants to know who is the father, but I won’t disclose the fact that it is him. They talk about me, they criticize me, and I still won’t say. I don’t know if it’s only because I am humiliated. When I see him, he won’t even speak to me, nonetheless look my way. Very disheartening.
    Today I am approaching 32 weeks. I went baby shower shopping, by myself. I start panicking, I felt so depressed. I called my mom, and like always she reassured me that I will be fine.
    The good things about this pregnancy are- I am healthy, I’m having a healthy boy, I had a decent pregnancy as far as morning sickness, I look amazing (men hit on me often), and most importantly my mom and family supports me. However, I chose not to engage in any sexual behavior with anyone. My son is my only priority, and to be honest I learned my lesson.
    Moreover, sometimes we dwell on the negative things, but God blessed us with something people pay lots of money to have, and we receive this extraordinary gift naturally. That’s my bigger picture. I will raise my son NOT to be like his father. I will have the opportunity to make a difference. For that I am grateful. Although my circumstances are unorthodox and sometimes depressing, I am happy that I received the opportunity that a lot of people won’t ever have- a child of their own.
    Therefore, for that we should be forever thankful.
    Yes, you will have many bad days, but you will also have several good days. Look forward to the good days, and pray through the bad days. God is in your life, your pregnancy is a confirmation. Rely on him, he knows best. He will not let you down.
    Many blessings to whomever is reading this.

  16. I thought that I wasn’t going to be in this alone but unfortunately I found out that the father of my little girl also has another baby on the way with someone else. This is just the most unbearable hurtful news to hear and he is choosing to be with her. I’ve cried because it hurts but I need to accept that I am doing this on my own now. I don’t want my little girl to feel the pain I feel. How do cope with this? I have my family and friends who are all there for me but the person I thought would be there is now giving his attention to the other woman that is also pregnant. Any advise?

    1. How are things for you now? Have you had your baby yet? Is dad more involved now? I am in a very similar situation! Im 24 weeks pregnant and the father of this baby also had another girl pregnant at same time, and chose to be with her. Her baby was just born a month ago and he’s acting like the proud doting perfect daddy. Meanwhike he has not asked even once about how me or his son are doing.

  17. Hi all,
    I’ve stumbled across this page as I am in my last trimester, and a little anxious as to how I’ll cope being a single mum. My story is a little different, the father wants to be in our lives, but I couldn’t think of anything worse than doing this with a less than perfect partner for me. I’m sure I would have strangled him by now, lol, I value my independence and he tends to try to stifle it. Not just that but i want my little girl growing up knowing that she deserves to be treated like a princess, and he was far from the ideal example of that. Finding out that i was pregnant and responsible for another life made me realise that i had to make some huge changes. I was drinking too much and kept taking him back, believing after a few failed relationships that i deserved to be treated as such. My daughter thats still growing strong inside me helped me to see that I dont need him, or my using ex before that or alcohol, or cigarettes to be happy. I looked back at what i had achieved during one of the most difficult points in my life (reaching my goals to travel to america for three months and meet my fav tv stars the winchester boys 🙂 writing a novel, having it published and getting them to sign it. And saw that i had the strength to be alone all along. I pushed myself through it when i was chronically depressed being in a stifling 8 year relationship caring for his family. I have no other children but had devoted my life to him and his three only to be told that he had decided he didnt want more children after all. Im now 32, and finding a like minded partner to fall in love and start a family with would have been much easier then. But much to his disgust his children still call me, we still see eachother and i couldnt imagine my life without having known them. His youngest (now 15) is over the moon about my new arrival and old enough to come to me still when she needs me. They see now that while he was absent, i wasnt and i tell you what im happy theyve seem this, yet devastated that they realise their father wasnt all they thought he was. He married after knowing this woman for 16 weeks yet for 8 years while i cooked, cleaned, consoled, worked, studied i never saw a ring. She has three children of her own, two still quite young. Its so easy to be bitter. But then i think of the kind of father he is and i can be nothing but grateful. One day ill invite a positive role model into our lives, but until then i know we are better off just the two of us. Do any of you have a similar story where youve decided to go it alone, knowing its whats best for you and your baby? Also to the women whos men have gotten them pregnant and treated them so badly, is it not in your best interests to go this alone? It breaks my heart hearing how youve been treated and knowing all too well the struggles of being pregnant and alone.

    1. I can relate to your story… I’m 36 and have a 16 year old. Didn’t think I could get pregnant… dated my boyfriend for only 3 months when I got pregnant but helped with his 3 kids for the past year while he basically dismissed me as a human once he found out I was pregnant. I went crying to his girls mom (his ex) the day he told her instead of telling her then coming home to me. I also found out when we first started dating that he got the girl he was dating before me pregnant twice and she had abortions. She was even still pregnant when we started dating! Anyway, he went from a sweetheart man I thought I could marry to a selfish, mean alcoholic who disappeared and left me alone several times, even on mothers day. I finally told him to leave 3 weeks ago and he was relieved he said. I’ve barely hard from him and am due in a month. I’m on my own and freaking out. I feel so used and taken advantage of. What is wrong with these guys? It would not surprise me one bit if he’s out sleeping with someone else already. I hope she doesn’t get pregnant too!

  18. I’m 14 weeks and my husband and I have been having some problems, but he has decided we have no way forward and it is not the time for a kid as he says. There is no chance I am terminating now. So i’m back home – only 8 weeks ago I told him I was pregnant and he was thrilled, I never imagined that I would end up a single mother. I’m not looking forward to doing this pregnancy without him.

  19. Thank God im not alone.
    I have two kids already with another partner, we got separated when kids were 6mnts and 18 months;10 years later now im in another relationship an just found out im pregnant, i told my partner 1 week ago and he moved out of our house. He has 3 kids from previous marriage an he adores his kids but this one he didn’t want to do anything with it. Im so sad an don’t know what to do? Im not in a mood for doing abortion

  20. I so much appreciate all of your courageous words, because I am a single mother now, my boyfriend tried so much to marry me but my family did not welcome him. please I need some advice on this kind of issue.

  21. I’m 16 weeks pregnant. I have had irregular periods, been struggling with losing weight, and never knew I wad pregnant until I realized I skipped 3 months of my period and gained a lot of weight. I went to the doctor and told him my symptoms and he asked if I may be pregnant.
    My first and only boyfriend gave me a lot of alcohol one night and he had sex with me. I can not remember if I gave consent but if I didn’t then I do not know what to do. He was sort of abusive but I was mentally unstable at the time too. We had quite a bit of unprotective sex but never got pregnant during those times.
    Anyways, zoom a bit after and I realized I skipped my period. Tested (urine) maybe two weeks after but it came out negative. So I was relieved. Next few months I skipped again and realized I need to go to the doctor and the doctor did a blood test and confirmed I was pregnant.
    I am so terrified. I have no family support with my mom and siblings. Just my dad and his new wife. I don’t have any money saved up. No car and no place to call my own and my first baby visit is in a few days. My first boyfriend is my ex now. So I dont want to tell him because he said he never wanted kids. I do not know what to do. I am still in denial about being pregnant. And I know I will be more unstable if I did abortion. I just need huge support and guidance. I feel like a child still, but I can not be anymore. I just dont know how.

  22. I got pregnant while on the patch. And I wasn’t even in a relationship with the man, we were just friends with benefits, he wanted me to get an abortion but I know that if I did I wouldn’t be able to live with myself so I decided to keep the baby. I am already a single mother of a 9 year old she is so happy that she is going to be a big sister. There are days when I feel so overwhelmed and sad over this situation, but I have faith in God and I trust in him and know that things will get better. The beginning is always the hardest. I am in college finishing my degree. I feel that this situation has helped me to become a stronger person, even though there are times when I have doubts in myself I keep pushing forward and knowing that now I have 2 children that depend on me, it makes me want to be a better person. They are my motivation in life. Ladies keep your head up. You got this!! We don’t need these scumbags in our lives.

  23. I am 35 weeks pregnant. I have two other children I am divorced. The father of my unborn child wanted me to have an abortion. I refused I gave up on him. He eventually came around. I later found out he cheated on me early in our relationship I was still willing to try to work things out because our relationship was very different then then it was now. This was three months ago when I found out he had cheated on me he wanted nothing to do with me. A week later he slept with someone else and is with someone else. I see pictures of them on social media sites of them at a hotel with towels on the ground and some girl saying he is the love of her life. Now he could careless about me. He disrespects me. Treats me terribly. I still am in love with him we had our life planned out right before all of this we moved in together. We talked multiple times about getting married. I feel so alone. I love him so much. Now I feel like I have to do this all alone. It’s been three months and it had been just as hard as day one when I found out. He still leads me on. Says things will never work. I keep thinking he will change his mind after I deliver but it’s not looking like it. I love him and his family so much. I feel so replaced. He goes out and has a good time. While I sit at home and cry myself to sleep every single night. Gaining weight is a struggle I was in preterm labor at 32 weeks. They were able to stop labor which I let him come to the hospital then. Which was terrible because he was sitting next to me snapchatting that other girl in my room while I sit there on a magnesium drip. I told him to leave. I am not seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I have no one to turn to.

  24. I am 23 weeks pregnant. The father up and left saying shouldn’t deserve to be a mom. Nothing but name calling and repeat bashing, for the last two days I been getting headaches from the stress. I got told I would be a bad mom for seeking out help and what he calls hand me downs since he don’t have to go through it. I gotten to the point now that I am being accused of a lot of things like wanting to run off with someone else, not true. I prove him wrong that makes me controlling. I am married to him but does it make me a bad person for not wanting him there while I give birth specially what all he is causing while I am pregnant with his son? I am honestly scared I want a good life for my son he doesn’t deserve this. It breaks my heart that his own father would be like this. Knowing I am half way through my pregnancy. I have tired to communicate with him but it turns into fighting or I get no communication is him saying I am a bad person, I even went to the extent to have it on file for drug tests to prove that I don’t do any drugs that I wouldn’t ever be that type of a parent. I don’t drink. I am stressed I am at lost for words. I am scared cause everything he puts in my head and has me believe in every single thing.

  25. I am 34, a mother of two, and I’m 13 weeks pregnant. My first two children are from a marriage to my high school sweetheart, who had some drug and behavioral issues that got much worse after we had children together, for whatever reason. When my daughter was 3 and my son was 7 months, he crossed the line completely while drinking, and punched me, for no real reason even. Not that any reason would justify that sort of thing but still – I was hard working and loyal and responsible wife. After two sinus surgeries and five root canals to correct all the damage, and a divorce since I couldn’t possibly stay with the man after that, I was on my own. I had been a stay at home mom working part time from home, but I found a nice full time job, and ended up buying an adorable little fixer upper in a nice neighborhood for us. It was all a major challenge and a bumpy road for sure, but that’s where I was at and feeling pretty good about it. Recently, I dated a man for about a month. Drank a bit too much one night and things happened, and despite being on birth control I am now pregnant. I found out a week after I broke up with him (I had my reasons). I felt telling him about the baby was the right thing to do. He didn’t really react well to the news – is basically in hardcore denial, even though I explained that it is physically impossible for the child to be anyone else’s. I’m sad tonight. I never thought my first husband would be so awful to all of us and I’d end up divorced, and afterwards I dreamed about meeting someone nice, good to me and my kids and getting remarried and having a third child with them. And here I am on my own again. Feeling very blessed to be having a third child but still lonely – and being extra emotional doesn’t help!! Sorry this is such a long post. But – to all of the first-time single moms reading this – my children are the best and most beautiful part of my life. They bring me so much joy and love, more than any man ever has by far. And having been married to a lazy jerk with kids and also been single with kids – it really isn’t any more difficult being single. You can do it! And I can do it, again.

  26. I’m 24. My husband and I been together since I was 18 it’s always been rough. He cheated on me so eventually last year I started seeing someone else while separated and he was also telling me he was separated too which was a lie. I felt so connected to him and he became my best friend. My husband and I have been back and forth with making it work and I tried to end my affair, but kept going between them both. My husband just left me and moved to another state bc he’s seeing someone else. I found out last week I’m pregnant… I have no idea which one is the father. The other guy wanted me to get an abortion and says it would mess us up if it’s my husbands child. My husband doesn’t know I’m pregnant. My family aren’t really helping because I feel more judged than understood about feeling overwhelmed. I know I caused this and I would change my choices, but I’m so confused and lonely. I want to treat my baby as a blessing, but it bothers me knowing I don’t know who is the father. It eats at me. I have a 3 year old already and I’m a single mom trying to get back on my feet…. I’ve thought about abortion, but my faith won’t let me do it. I just feel sad and guilty.

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