I would also say that for me in my judgementalism there is a MASSIVE difference between the mum doing something completely at odds to me after careful research and loving consideration and the woman doing exactly the same because she can't be bothered looking at the effects or alternatives.
Yep - this is one I will silently think "who wouldn't look into what's best for their child?". Then I realise that a lot of people assume that the way most other people do things MUST be good, or they wouldn't do it, and don't have access to the people and resources who can illuminate them better.
The other thing I wanted to add to my own post was that when I 'judge' it is with compassion for both the parents and the children in question. Like with my former friends - I have compassion for the older child (the younger escapes criticism for his personality because he conforms better to what the dad wants of him) as well as for the father, because the father, I know, never wanted to turn out like his old man...and from all reports, he has become alarmingly similar in his punitive parenting and non-acceptance of his son's more creative and sensitive personality (he's 'off with the fairies' and is now more self-conscious of that because he's not unreservedly loved for what he naturally is )
I think if you're caring about the effects of someone's parenting and doing it from a heartspace and not a headspace, there needn't be a negative connotation to 'judgmental'. Headspace judgment where you think your way is just better cos you do it, is a bit of a pitfall I'd like to avoid and if I fall into it, it's not a judgment I'd ever act on. If you're feeling your parenting honours your child's spirit in comparison to someone else's practises and you are conflicted over how to share that ethic with a parent who seems to have disconnected from their instincts (as opposed to their conditioned ideas of parenting), it's not a bad thing at all. In fact, it's a more positive energy and you're likely to create a ripple effect, somehow, instead of being instructional