Oh Gigi, you've made me cry!

I know how you feel to a degree... it's the very reason I started this thread, cause I needed to know I wasn't alone in feeling like I do. You circumstances sound much more severe than anything I had, and I'm so sorry you had to go through all that .
You are so right... not many people do 'get' the grief of not being able to birth your baby naturally. I feel as though I've had this precious experience and the first few hours of my baby's life taken away from me. I never expected to feel grief (that's a great way to describe it).
Like you, I never expected to have a c/s. In all the pregnancy and labour books I read, I always skipped right over the c/s parts because I just didn't believe it would happen to me.

I'm aiming for a VBAC for my next bub... but I'm aware it may not happen. I'm going to be doing a lot of reading and research, as well as making as sure as I can that if I do end up with another c/s that I get to hold my baby straight away - not 2 bleeping hours later!

Thank you so much for sharing Gigi.